frustration station: quality over quantity? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills

As the summer wears on I keep finding myself in the same dilemma. Anytime an activity is planned whether it be a night float, camping trip, boating at the lake or whatever it may be the result tends to be the same. Around a third of whoever was invited shows up with another third calling(or more likely sending A text) to cancel and the final third going M.I.A. This is assuming it's a polite group and any call to cancel.

What the booF? At first I figured it was just my lack of charisma and natural charm so I decided to step back from the wheel for a bit and see what the rest of my friends could muster. Chadwick, king of all things social and charismatic took the next turn organizing a massive(30+) guest list for a 3 day boating and camping expedition to the local waterhole. He solely toiled over phone numbers and lists of guests whilst the rest of us invited whomever we bumped into whilst imagining a grand spectacle of boat(s) towing away at tubes and skis, mass' socializing around campfires till the wee hours of the morn, and ne'er a dull moment.

Failure ensued. However I use the word failure loosely. In the aforementioned ways of mass' and grand spectacles we fell slightly short. There were in total around 10 of us there for the full stint. And while it could definitely be categorized as a letdown and failure, I firmly disagree. While I won't deny feeling a bit blue over it, after seeing the size of the guest list I was not-so-secretly stoked for this epic congregation, I had a hell of a time and it further expanded not only the amount of those I hold close but also my undying loyalty and love of those that I already surround myself with.

Previous to seeing it happen I definitely harbored my own doubt over how things would go. Not because of Chad by any means, au Cointreau, I hoped with every inch of my being that Chadwick would be the savior of summertime extravaganzas, and that it was simply my own lack of "cool" that had caused the failures of yore. But only when the time actually rolled around and the people didn't was it that I realized I couldn't hold back my Cheshire cat "I told you so" grin when I looked at Wick. It would seem when it comes to being invited to these sorts of things people are just A) inconsiderate B) lazy and/or C) indifferent. Now with that being said I realize things like this need time to develop and people need time to get time off to do them and sometimes people are just busy or don't feel like it when it comes down to it. But that can't be the case, too many of these things are so very easily avoidable and these excuses run dry long before the opportunities do. Not to mention at least this time around we gave people a couple weeks notice.

Having actually talked to and invited so many people face to face I still cannot explain why it is that people my age seem to be so intent on avoiding either new places, new things, or just short term plans. I know I'm a little more open and random than most people but I mean come on now people! Sun, beach, boats, fun...certainly someone can explain to others why I like these things right?!

Anywho, I finally digress. As I said, all in all it was a great trip and one that will hopefully be repeated soon. But the problem still lingers, when faced with The Outside Lands Festival in S.F.(pearl jam, incubus, DMB, beastie boys...) plans were made only for those who created them to fall through. One super sweet 1-2 week long boarding road trip from Seattle to San Diego has been sitting around waiting only for someone else to actually be willing AND able, a feat I thought very accomplishable when I created it 2 years ago. 4 best buddies moving out and getting a tight domain together now withers to 2 buddies. These are the things I face and wonder why? Well for now I'll chalk it up as a motivator for further expanding my base of friends and traveling solo to strengthen myself and to try and find someone with the will and imagination to match my own. In the mean time, DON'T FORGET THE RULES!!!

#1: NEVER REFUSE AN OPEN INVITATION

#2: NEVER OUTSTAY YOUR WELCOME

#3: JUST TRY TO OPEN YOUR MIND AND TAKE IN THE EXPERIENCE, AND IF IT HURTS A LITTLE,WELL IT'S PROBABLY WORTH IT!!!

Ya know what really grinds my gear? : Patriotism Edition!

Well obviously first off I would like to wish anyone reading this a Happy Independence Day / 4Th of July! With that being said, HOW IN SKELATOR'S STAFF IS IT ALREADY THE 4TH OF JULY?! Every time I think I've come to terms with the speed that time passes, I find myself waking up 25+ days down the road! WTF.

Anywho, like anything else, there's a bright side to this. With every moment that passes I come yet another step closer to fulfilling my destiny of moving out... that and my not so imminent future downfall, which I suspect will inevitably be caused by my own doing. AAAnnywho, since I first made the decision to inhabit my own abode, I have been producing personal goal lists at an astronomical rate. It became fairly evident from early on that I really wanted myself to commit and use having my own place to take myself to the generic and stereotypically named "next step".

You see to me moving out really means moving on and moving up, pretty much that this event will be the means for me to become whom and what I want. While I do both love and treasure my current home, (Bend, and more importantly my family) I cannot live there without being tormented by the Ghost of Woodsington past. Fore I can, most unfortunately, tell you without a whim of doubt that I WAS a slacker, a pile if you will, with a will power and fortitude that makes Kirstie Alley look like Gandhi. Fortunately, the past few years have been ones full of self-realization and self-appointed improvement, and at this point in time I am proud to announce my However, a long earned reputation cannot be overturned in a single day and, as is the situation here, I still sometimes face blatant doubt and skeptisism whenever being left in charge, being given chores, borrowing items, etc... The worst contributer to this general lack of faith being mine own mind. See dear reader, I am one not so proud owner of a pretty debilitating case of A.D.D.. And as I'm sure you can imagine, not being able to focus on anything I don't find thrilling, paired with a less than stellar drive does not equal fruitful success. But even that has changed now, yes I, Scott the Bringer of Change, has tamed my stampeding daydreams and love of all things shiny with the introduction of a wonderous thing called Amphetamine Salts AKA Adderall. I dunno if thats what it's like to be "normal" but oh my god is it wonderous! Being able to focus on the person in front of me instead of the t.v. the next room over or even have a full conversation with someone only to remember what it was we just talked about is an all too wonderful realization.

I see it as the chance in which I can hone and perfect my character to becoming my ideal me, becoming fully fluent with a vast collection of skills and abilities, and fortunately I have managed to collect 3 potential housemates who see this as their opportunity for the same thing. Together we have all agreed and collaborated to create a pact for the means of holding eachother reasponsible not only for basic household duties but for moving up in life. whether it be by waking up someone to hold them to working out, or reminding a friend of spanish class, or even partaking in the same goals so you have someone to work side by side with, the possibilities seem very great indeed.